I started blogging when my life took an unexpected turn, with the hopes of purging whatever hellish pain was writhing inside my head. Sometimes, this helped.
But I find myself holding back lately, not wanting to record for posterity the wicked thoughts contained within me. What if someone reads it. What if nobody does.
I am tired of be painted as this "derailed freight train of emotional bullshit and absolute lunacy" who choses to know her adversary. I am tired of hearing inaccuracies about my life. I am tired of not being able to defend myself, because what would that matter, anyway.
I am just tired.
But I have realized that I am a very intelligent woman, despite my doubts of myself, despite my fears and despite the opinions of mis-guided others.
I may not be chock-full of sage advice and I may possess a plethora of quirks, but I am, for all intents and purposes, a pretty normal person.
That is, of course, for a freight train.
1 comment:
appointment with big Bjorn, the masseaus, daily please! i can only imagine how deflating and also enraging this moment is.......(though its the perfect time to pick up painting or poetry)!
ps...don't be afraid of your woman extinct. when she hurts, ROAR like a mad bear!
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