Shifting

I've changed my mind. I said I did not wish you any ill will or that I hoped you would find some happiness on your own, but I've changed my mind.

Although I still do not, nor ever will, hate you, I greatly despise you. I think you are nothing more than an empty shell of a woman who is trying desperately to masquerade herself as a strong female figure. You, my schizoid friend, are not.

I have read enough of your blog to have a modicum of understanding of your being; it doesn't take a psychologist to figure out that you are the "little girl lost" trying to prove to everyone you're a tough woman, when in reality you are falling apart at the seams, with no one there to mend you. So you look to destroy other's lives, because that gives your pitiful existence some meaning.

I want you to know that at least two people within a management position know. They know what you've done, they know why you did it and they know who you are. But I will silently wait until you are gone and then I will let you fade away, as you rightfully deserve.

I firmly believe that you have some very fucked up emotional issues that for some reason you have chosen to project on to other women. I believe that it was yourself who posed as "ann" on LIAC, in an effort to capture me as the "psychotic bitch" you wanted everyone to believe me to be. I believe you like the attention of men because the ego-boost enlivens your dark spirit. And I believe that you will come crashing down from your mighty temple, with nothing left to salvage.

My husband loves me, he never stopped. That you were strictly a friend, in the beginning, is not a question anymore. But you chose to take advantage of his naivte and confusion, only to create a better one for him, in the end.

He only wanted to fuck you because you have a cunt, not because you were his "dream woman". Sure, any woman that isn't your spouse may well be a "dream woman", but as he told me, "it's a fantasy, that doesn't mean it's a good thing....I could never have a life with her....you are the only one who knows me, the only one I am comfortable being me with". Aside from the fact that you were willing to game with him, all you are to him is a set of tits and a willing pussy.

I cannot believe I ever let you intimidate me and destory my spirit. I cannot believe that you felt you were above me, helping yourself to another woman's husband. But I see, very clearly now, that I was not the one at fault.

You are a lesson for me, reminding me that I have and will continue to overcome adversity. You have allowed me to yet again test my limits and prove to myself that I am a strong and beautiful woman. For that, I suppose, I thank you.

I have changed my mind and yet I don't hate you. I pity you and take a small comfort in knowing that I will never be that emotionally vacant.