Dirty LIttle Hate

I hate her. There, I said it. Am I supposed to feel some sense of relief here, because I don't. I just feel angrier.

She was in the store today and I the rage and hate that's been boiling under the surface emerged with a full vengeance. I fucking hate it.

I am sickened because I work for a company that feels it's okay to lie to their employees. Now, I am not stupid, I realized what kind of company I worked for a long time ago. It's just that I thought I did the right thing by going to management with a problem, a problem that I assumed would be taken care of. But it wasn't. Instead I was told, "you did the right thing....." and "he was in awe that you came forward", but now I wonder if any of that was true at all.

She stood there talking to him like it was her God-given right, that she could saunter in and pay a visit to a man she admitted to pursuing and wants sexually. A married man. Who is also my boss.

It makes me want to vomit.

I almost want her to show up at my house, so I can unleash the last few month's worth of rage on her ass; I know it would be spectacular. However, I don't think she's that stupid, although I've been proven wrong before.

I now sit here, angry and disgusted, wondering what I should do next, if anything. My husband has decided to pretty much ignore all of it, including her. In fact, efforts on my part to bring up any lingering feelings regarding her are met with, "just drop it, okay?" Drop it. Right.

I want to be able to go to someone and say, "alright, this happened and now I am feeling incredibly uncomfortable working, and that's not right because I enjoy my job....can you please help me out here", but I doubt I will get any satisfaction.

The bright side is that she is probably only here for the weekend, and then she will whore her ass back to TO, where she belongs.

I know that the idea of her will have to fade away, but right now the wounds are still fresh, and haven't had time to heal.

In a perfect world, she would have disappeared and never come back. But this is reality and in the real world the hurt never completely goes away.